THE TRAGEDY OF BAD PARENTING

By Olumide T. Agunbiade

  Kafayat Shafau, popularly known as Kaffy, embarrassed her mother on television last year. And who could blame her? With millions of people watching, the most respected dancer/choreographer in Nigeria confessed during an interview that her mom once urged her to go into prostitution even though she still played a major role in her life.

According to a senior security officer of a Nigerian university, when he paid a condolence visit to the parents of a student who was killed by cultist, he was shocked to meet the parents and group of men drinking rather than mourning. The father confessed to him that all his children are cultist, he initiated them and that he will avenge his late son’s death.

Many years ago, incidents like this would have been a scandal. Nigerians are known for their rich cultural heritage dated back to the Stone Age. Our fore fathers are industrious people with vibrant values and traditions. From a young age, children were trained to obey their parents, greet people properly and to participate in dances and other forms of traditional activities depending on their ethnic group.

Today, bad parenting is now common among many Nigerian parents, grandparents and even great-grandparents. Many Parents from good family backgrounds now encourage their children to steal, to harm and to kill. Many major cities in Nigeria are filled with teenage prostitutes who are proudly supported by their parents.

 According to a report by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), 95% of the teenagers arrested for internet crimes confessed that they were encouraged by their parents to ‘make money in any way they can.’

Bad parenting is also evident in the entertainment industry in Nigeria. Many teenagers join the industry due to easy exposure to the world of booze, sex and plenty drugs. Though it is not a general thing, however, many girls get into dancing and acting, because they probably want to sleep with star artistes.

It is sad that we are in an era of bad parenting. The tragedy is that the nation will continue to raise bad and corrupt people as evident in the attitude of our leaders towards national growth and development. Many parents blame the high rate of unemployment; poverty and economic recession as responsible for bad parenting. The truth is, many of these parents are uncaring and greedy.

There are countless Nigerians from poor background who have risen from nothing to something and are role models due to the support and encouragement from their parents who always remind them to always remember ‘the child of whom they are.’

 Majority of Nigerian leaders today are product of bad parents. The more they have, the more they want. Since independence, we have witnessed several changes in leadership without changes in infrastructural development. The fact is, the nation is ruled by people with different names but the same attitude and mentality. Bad leaders are like bad parents who have nothing to offer their children rather than silly and evil advice and encouragement that is only aimed at achieving their own selfish interest.

 Parents should realize that children must be nurtured and assisted to develop into responsible and productive adults, who will take over the running of the affairs of the society. Children are physically, mentally and emotionally immature and, therefore, require special safeguards and care. This includes appropriate protection, both before and after birth, so as to enable them to develop a full and balanced personality.

It is the responsibility of every parent, guardians or others responsible for the upbringing of children to provide care, proper upbringing, education, guidance, discipline and socialization. These required proper growth and development and to enable them to secure their assimilation, appreciation and observance of their responsibilities.

Parents must encourage their children to respect their elders at all times, to contribute to the moral well being of the society, as well as social and national solidarity and respect the ideals of democracy, freedom, equality, humanness, honesty and justice for all.

The future of their children should be the priority of every good parent. Besides, Franklin D. Roosevelt said: ‘We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can prepare our children for the future.’