Monogamy or Polygamy: The New Age Preference

A polygamous wedding.

By Olumide T. Agunbiade

For decades, men were marrying more than one wife because they can afford to take good care of them and perhaps, their religion allows it. Today, much seems to have changed in the marriage and family system.

ORIGIN OF POLYGAMY

 Historically, men were polygamist. In Africa, the fore-fathers were hunters and farmers   and usually marry more than one woman who they expect to give them more children who will assist them in the farm or on the field. Afro beat legend; Fela Anikulapo Kuti and Actor Hubert Ogunde married 70 and 100 wives respectively when they were alive.

 In Asia, men marry more than one woman to reduce the number of unmarried women during that period. In America, men marry one and dump them for other women.

Then, a man who marries more than one wife is perceived to be successful and women live in peace and harmony among their selves. In Africa, some women even encourage their husband to marry more women. Also, barren women look for young ladies for their partners to marry and nurture them till they are pregnant and eventually deliver a child for the man.

EXPERIENCE OF POLYGAMIST

Managing a polygamous family is far from easy. According to a Nigerian businessman who married four wives, he settles disputes among his wives everyday and sometimes he is afraid to go home. A banker who said he married three women to reduce the number of single ladies in Nigeria claimed he created sanity through a special time-table that he created at home.

According to the banker, he created a time-table for food, sex and events. The time-table affords each wife the honour of cooking for their husband for a week. The man also shares such woman’s bedroom for the week and she attends an event with him during that week while the other women patiently wait for their turn.

Also, a traditional ruler who claimed all his wives were given to him by their parents said he was forced to rent separate apartment for his wives because they live like cat and mouse when they were together.

SHOULD MEN MARRY MORE WOMEN?

According to recent statistics, the ratio of woman to man is 3: 1. In fact, if every man in the world should marry three women, more women would still be available. This figure may increase considering the increase in divorce rate in the world.

 However, many men are embracing monogamy despite this statistic due to their knowledge, economic recession and previous experience of polygamist. Though men love women and most men are insatiable, yet, many have learnt their lesson.

Unlike the past, many men are now educated and the global economic recession is a major factor. Ignorance and poverty forced many parents to sell their children to rich merchants and farmers in the past. Today, many men live below $2 a day and some still live with their parents at the age of 30.

In Nigeria, poverty and unemployment has affected even monogamy, not to mention polygamy. A recent estimate put the number of Nigerians living below the poverty line at 70 per cent. Regarding unemployment, which has created available market for political violence and various crimes, recent statistics from the National Directorate of Employment (NDE) indicate that 12 million Nigerians are unemployed, this is not to mention those who are underemployed.

Besides, new generation women cannot share their men with other women. In fact, many would rather remain single than walk into polygamy. The fact is, new generation men are settling for monogamy, though many still have girlfriends that they hide from their wives.